


We Processin’ Trauma

by Cringe_Culture



Series: raccooninnit prompts pog [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Betrayal, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, Out of Character, Psychological Trauma, Sad Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Slightly - Freeform, Stimming, Technoblade’s Cape, hes sad guys, it doesn’t work but techno’s trying his best, lowkey, make that a tag, sort of comfort???, sorta - Freeform, there’s a small amount of comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:20:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28508091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cringe_Culture/pseuds/Cringe_Culture
Summary: “You knew I wouldn’t have actually done it, right?”—prompt:“tommy and techno having a conversation about the moment where techno offered tommy to dream because of the favor dream has”
Relationships: Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: raccooninnit prompts pog [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2088249
Comments: 17
Kudos: 370





	We Processin’ Trauma

**Author's Note:**

> this is based off of a prompt by raccooninnit! below is the link that you can copy and paste:
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/28489422
> 
> please check them out! all credit for the prompts in this series goes to them.
> 
> (lmk if that link doesn’t work)
> 
> this was super fun to write lol, i haven’t been enjoying writing as much lately so this was like, a godsend.
> 
> disclaimer: this in NO WAY reflects the feelings of the content creators or the characters. PLEASE do not send this their way. this is self-indulgent and based off the characters they play in the smp.
> 
> also, i have a hard time with grammar and spelling so please kindly point out mistakes. i don’t beta read
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS
> 
> mentions of temporary character death, discussion of death and torture (brief), and manipulation

Tommy was infinitely grateful that Techno stood up for him in L’Manburg. He had given him the chance to think for himself, to process the fact that Dream was standing there, right in front of him, threatening to burn his discs, and he defended him. He had felt protected.

Until Techno brought up the favor.

He didn’t understand why he would just give an offer like that. It was putting him in direct danger, practically handing him over to Dream, and it made him feel unsafe. 

He thought Techno had cared, he thought someone had wanted to help him for once. He had thought, for a immature and fleeting second, that he was safe.

“You know I wouldn’t have actually done it,” Techno mumbled, sitting down on the wooden floor, across from where Tommy was resting against his chests. “Right?”

Tommy looked at his brother, right between the eyes, feigning eye contact. “No, I didn’t know that. I still don’t know that.”

“I wouldn’t have.” Techno fidgeted with the edge of his cape. “The favor is the only thing he has over me, Tommy. It was a reminder for him. I don’t care about dyin’, I don’t care what he could’ve done to me. I wouldn’t have let him anywhere near you.”

“How was I supposed to know that?” Tommy could feel his voice wavering, and he fucking hated it. He dug his fingernails into his palms. “I thought you were protecting me, and then you turned around and you did that.”

Techno turned his head away. Tommy noticed that his hands were shaking. Fuck that, fuck this, Tommy wasn’t going to feel bad for him. He’s a murderer, and he nearly betrayed him. He wasn’t going to feel bad.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” Techno rested his head against the heel of his hand. “I was trying to remind Dream... it was really complicated. It’s still complicated.”

A scoff left Tommy’s mouth before he could stop himself. “It’s complicated for me, too, but I don’t pull shit like that.”

“You do,” Techno spat, and Tommy tried not to respond. “Stop acting like you know that you’re above me. You have no idea what my motivations are.”

“I’m starting to think that protecting me isn’t one of them.”

“If I didn’t want to protect you, do you think you’d be here right now?” Techno’s voice is raised, now, although he’s still looking away. “I could’ve ratted you out ages ago, and I didn’t.”

“I know why you’re doing it, Techno,” Tommy said. “You don’t have to fucking lie and cover it up. You’re doing it for your benefit, and that’s fine. I’m doing it for mine, too.”

Techno took several heaving breaths. Tommy held his own, hoping he didn’t piss the other man off too badly. Hoping he hadn’t overstepped. 

“You’re right,” he said, after a while. “I am doing this for my own benefit. You think I would put myself in danger if I weren’t getting somethin’ out of it?”

Tommy stare holes into the side of his pseudo-brother’s head. “No. I don’t.”

“Do you know what it is that I’m getting out of protecting you, Tommy?”

Tommy didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure if it was hypothetical or not, but he didn’t know how to respond either way. Techno turned to face him again.

“I know you think I just care about my items, and my political agenda, and you’re right,” Techno said, voice scarily soft, an intense contrast from the anger that had been spewing from the man just a few seconds before. “I don’t need you for that. I could let anyone else help me, I could kill you right here, I could torture you until you give up your discs and I could burn them all. The conflict with Dream would be over. You’re useless to me. So why am I doing it?”

They sat in silence for several minutes. Tommy mulled over what Techno said, and Techno allowed it. The quiet was uncomfortable, piercing, and it felt like it lasted for years.

“I’m doing it because you’re a kid,” Techno finally answered. “You are sixteen and you’ve been dragged into the horrors of war. You’ve gone through so much bullshit.”

Tommy’s eyes widened when the other man cussed; that never happened.

“And I see that now. I see that you’re in pain. I want to help you, I want to take you away from all of the people who have hurt you. Which, I am aware, includes myself.”

He noticed that Techno’s eyes were wet, and he felt tears prick at the corners his own.

He would not cry in front of Techno.

“I don’t show it often enough, but I do care. I want you to get better, and I want to help you heal.” Techno looked back down at his hands. “I won’t be able to make up for what I’ve put you through, and I don’t want you to forgive me, because you shouldn’t. Not now, not in a few months, not ever. But I do care.”

“That’s a lot of information,” Tommy said, his voice much quieter than he’d meant it to be. He cleared his throat. “I can’t forgive you, you know. You fucking... you killed Tubbo. You destroyed our hard work for selfish reasons.”

“Then don’t forgive me. Like I just said, I don’t want you to, I don’t think you should. But... I let you all know what I wanted from the very beginning, Tommy, and you went behind my back.” Techno crumpled the edges of his cape in his fists. “I’m not going to say I’m sorry for the withers. It wouldn’t be honest. But, I know, now, that it wasn’t right of me to kill Tubbo. And I’m sorry for that.”

Yet another bout of stunned silence followed the apology. 

Tommy was sure he’d never heard Techno apologize sincerely to someone in a long time, possibly even forever. Sure, there had been the occasional, nonchalant, “sorry,” if he’d bumped into someone, or made a loud noise that made people jump. But never about something this serious.

Technoblade usually didn’t recognize that his actions were wrong.

When Tommy next spoke, his throat was tight and the relentless tears were on the verge of spilling. “I can’t say anything. I can’t say I forgive you, I’ll probably hold it against you for... a long fucking time.”

“That’s okay, too. I understand that.” Techno stood, adjusted his cape a bit, wiped his eyes. “You ain’t obligated to forgive me, or anyone else. I just want you to hear me say that I do care. I wouldn’t have given you up to Dream, not even if my own life was on the line.”

“I can hear you fine,” Tommy mumbled, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face in them. “I don’t know if I can believe you.”

A hand came to rest between his shoulder blades, and he resisted the urge to move away. He didn’t find it very comforting. He knew that Techno was trying, but it didn’t help. He decided to pretend.

“I respect that.” Techno’s voice sounded choked up, as well, which was an incredibly foreign sound. Tommy decided not to make fun of him this time. “I’m going out to do some stuff, I’ll leave you to yourself.”

And, suddenly, Technoblade was gone, the uncomfortable weight of a hoof was removed from his back.

Tommy cried a lot that evening. No one but the villagers, who listened to his painstaking screams for hours on end, heard.

It felt good.

He knew he wouldn’t feel protected again for a very long time. He wouldn’t feel safe around Technoblade. He now knew that he couldn’t let himself feel that way, not yet. Maybe not ever.

He didn’t know if he would get to an place where he could interact with people normally, and place his trust is in them voluntarily, but Techno wouldn’t hurt him. At least, not physically, and not right then. He had no reason to.

And that was more than he could say for most of the other people he’d previously trusted.

He hated feeling uncertain about everything. He hated not knowing what to do, not knowing how things would turn out.

So, when he had finished wallowing in self-pity, he knew he had to focus on the shit he did understand. And the only thing he was absolutely certain about was that he was going to get his discs back, and he needed Technoblade with him to do it.

**Author's Note:**

> yes this is out of character probably, and non canon compliant technically, i hardly care about canon anymore, let me live in peace, okay? anyways this was pog.
> 
> again, go check out raccooninnit’s prompts. here’s the link to the book:
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/28489422


End file.
